I think a lot of people don't feel okay being themselves. I was thinking about how I used to be very much not okay with being myself. That can manifest in a lot of ways, and it certainly depends on the person. Some people aren't okay with being themselves and go on self-destructive paths. Others seek external validation. There are many ways these feelings are shown. Specifically, I want to think about the need to show other people how great you're doing.
This is something extremely common nowadays thanks to social media. But you don't have to prove anything to anyone. Yet culture today demands it. Everyone has to be perfect all the time and be doing great all the time. And even people who are okay being themselves are left feeling inadequate. That doesn't mean that everyone who sees the "perfect" lives of others will be comparing themselves to them, but it is probably a common consequence given the circumstances.
The way to avoid this, in my opinion, is to become okay with being you. But what does that actually mean? I think there are a lot of elements.
It first starts with recognizing that the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You are the most important person in your life. That means that you have to make yourself the most important person in your life. That doesn't mean neglecting those around you, but it means putting yourself first more. Kindness is important, and it's important for you as well.
This is something extremely common nowadays thanks to social media. But you don't have to prove anything to anyone. Yet culture today demands it. Everyone has to be perfect all the time and be doing great all the time. And even people who are okay being themselves are left feeling inadequate. That doesn't mean that everyone who sees the "perfect" lives of others will be comparing themselves to them, but it is probably a common consequence given the circumstances.
The way to avoid this, in my opinion, is to become okay with being you. But what does that actually mean? I think there are a lot of elements.
It first starts with recognizing that the most important relationship you will ever have is with yourself. You are the most important person in your life. That means that you have to make yourself the most important person in your life. That doesn't mean neglecting those around you, but it means putting yourself first more. Kindness is important, and it's important for you as well.
Next comes a good support system. Humans are social creatures, though the degree may depend. I am an introverted person unless I'm with the right people. Having a good support system means having positive, good people around you who are givers (or at least not malicious takers). They should make you feel good. The relationship should be beneficial to both parties. The benefit of having a good support system is that someone can tell you to be kind to yourself and value yourself whenever you forget. Sometimes, the right person can make you realize some of the good things about yourself that you hadn't even realized before. And when you can't listen to yourself, it helps to have someone reassure you.
Another important element is to stop with comparisons. Nobody actually cares that much about what's going on in your life. Of course, your friends care and they want the best for you. But those people that maybe you want to "prove" something to? They don't care. You don't have to prove anything to anyone except yourself. Focusing on yourself is the key to becoming okay with being you.
I also consider the flip side. I've known a lot of people who seem to make it a competition to see how poorly they're doing compared to me or other people. Again, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. If you feel bad, that's okay. If you feel good, that's okay. The important thing is to do what is best for yourself. Life is not a competition, yet many treat it like one.
What's the point in making life a competition? You don't actually get anything out considering it a competition. There's no prize money. There's no trophy. All that happens is wasting time and probably feeling bad about yourself.
Someone I know and love has told me that they want to lead an easy life. Honestly, I think that's a really good way to live. Why should things be made more complicated than they need to be? The simpler your life, the more likely you're okay with yourself. Maybe you feel something is missing in your life. That's fine. Find what it is and maximize your satisfaction. Who cares what other people are doing?
Becoming free from the competition is a liberating experience. It's not easy, but keeping the competition going is harder. If you're stuck with you, you should be okay with yourself. Life is hard enough as it is—why make it even harder?
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