My mom has always told me there are two types of people in the world: "givers" and "takers". She's told me that she and I are "givers". We don't need to take from others to survive the same way "takers" need to. We live to give and provide for others. That's not all there is to our lives, but we don't live the way "takers" do: receiving energy, love, and even things from other people and giving minimally. Of course, everyone exists as a mix of these two things, but it is never 50/50.
One reality that givers have to face is that takers are drawn to them. Some takers are kind and don't try to abuse the kindness of givers, while others thrive off taking advantage of others. Being a taker is not inherently a bad thing, but I have come to realize that the majority of the people around me are predominantly givers because I simply cannot handle how drained I become around takers.
Some givers are extreme like my mother. She's easily the most selfless person I know, and she's told me time and time again that she simply needs to be taking care of people. I suppose in one way, that is what happiness and satisfaction is for her. Other givers are closer to 50/50. Definitely not completely half and half, but pretty close to it. One of my best friends is like that—she leans on me, but I know that I can rely on her as well. Despite having problems of her own, she will drop everything if I need her. I think that's why our relationship is so great—it's a good balance. On the other hand, I've had experience with extreme takers. Because I give, I keep on giving. And they keep on taking. It's best to cut ties with people like this—especially if they are more the malicious type of taker.
Usually, people can feel this dynamic. Maybe people call it different things and not "givers" and "takers" like my mom, but this is by no means a unique observation. Sometimes it isn't easy to see how much is taken from you until it's gone. You might not be able to process it. But something will feel off when the balance tips in favor of the taker. That's when you have to trust your instincts and leave.
What I think is important is to surround yourself with givers. Support them, be kind, and give to them. But also take from them; when they offer you something, whether it be support, energy, or something else, take it...and return it later. Friendship should be a two-way street or a cycle. It shouldn't feel forced or unbalanced. In the end, you have to trust your instincts.
I hope the two or three people who read this (who are probably my friends—my wonderful giving friends) don't feel this imbalance in their relationships. If they do...it might be time to make a change.
One reality that givers have to face is that takers are drawn to them. Some takers are kind and don't try to abuse the kindness of givers, while others thrive off taking advantage of others. Being a taker is not inherently a bad thing, but I have come to realize that the majority of the people around me are predominantly givers because I simply cannot handle how drained I become around takers.
Some givers are extreme like my mother. She's easily the most selfless person I know, and she's told me time and time again that she simply needs to be taking care of people. I suppose in one way, that is what happiness and satisfaction is for her. Other givers are closer to 50/50. Definitely not completely half and half, but pretty close to it. One of my best friends is like that—she leans on me, but I know that I can rely on her as well. Despite having problems of her own, she will drop everything if I need her. I think that's why our relationship is so great—it's a good balance. On the other hand, I've had experience with extreme takers. Because I give, I keep on giving. And they keep on taking. It's best to cut ties with people like this—especially if they are more the malicious type of taker.
Usually, people can feel this dynamic. Maybe people call it different things and not "givers" and "takers" like my mom, but this is by no means a unique observation. Sometimes it isn't easy to see how much is taken from you until it's gone. You might not be able to process it. But something will feel off when the balance tips in favor of the taker. That's when you have to trust your instincts and leave.
What I think is important is to surround yourself with givers. Support them, be kind, and give to them. But also take from them; when they offer you something, whether it be support, energy, or something else, take it...and return it later. Friendship should be a two-way street or a cycle. It shouldn't feel forced or unbalanced. In the end, you have to trust your instincts.
I hope the two or three people who read this (who are probably my friends—my wonderful giving friends) don't feel this imbalance in their relationships. If they do...it might be time to make a change.
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